There’s a battle going on out there but it’s mostly a silent one fought out on the arena of the school playground, corridors, journey to and from school and of course in the mind of virtually every child and teen at one time or another. Just because you’re not physically attacked does not imply that you don’t need to learn how to defend yourself.
Verbal intimidation / conflict and text threats are the most widespread form of school bullying and few know how to defend themselves against it and prevent it.
Some children have developed a range of cutting and sarcastic defences when verbal combat ensues. But this seldom works, albeit momentarily.
Coming back with the wicked cut down comes from the ego and can only fuel an otherwise infuriated situation. The best way to stand your ground is to develop what I call your silent powers.
Some children allow themselves to be victimised and manipulated by others based on the energy or persona they give out. Thoughts become things and words can create or destroy by their application, just as a gun in the hands of a police officer can protect and defend… but in the hands of a murderer destroy and kill.
Other kids are projecting their energy or ‘forms-of-thought’ towards you all the time and you must train yourself not to react or to become unstable by it. Project strength, security and confidence into the world and incoming negativity will often pass right through you because it has no solidity or emotion upon which to attach itself.
Your silent protection is not matching harmful thoughts projected at you because they have a much lower depreciating thought form or energy.
Some people are uncomfortable when you show your natural strength and confidence it makes them feel even more insecure than they do already. It destabilises their energy and your power can only quell their non-solid self identity. Hence the reason why some are attacked not because of their weakness but because of their strength.
Let this be your daily mantra ‘The harder it gets the stronger I get’. This is what I used to say to myself at school.
95% of school defence is awareness, body position and communication. The best approach in any confrontation is walk away if you can. Not be there! If you have read the situation and tuned into the ‘mental vibe’… having read the situation in the ‘would be’ bullies mind, your inner awareness has alerted you and you have acted on it. In other words, avoided it.
I have always liked the Taoist philosophy, which states. It’s always better to retreat and only engage in conflict when you are absolutely convinced your chances of winning are high.
One of the most powerful tools CHAMPS Confidence Training creates is enabling you to resonate a silent strength that is very powerful on a subconscious level. An energy so effective it can often repel an attack without anything happening. You walk through school with an inner confidence that few possess. Many talk about self defence like it is nothing more than how hard you can punch or kick.
If you are at the point of having to defend yourself physically then something has gone very wrong. You can learn all the tools of self defence, but you’re confidence is such that people leave you alone.
Here’s some Anti-Bullying Tips:
- Attract A Truck Load of Attention: If you’re in trouble and out in the open… attract as much attention as you can. Scream your head off. Make noises, do whatever you can to get noticed. Shout ‘Fire’. People respond more to this more than ‘help me’. Most do not want to get involved… but if they think they’re about to get toasted they’re more likely to take action.
- Keep in the Public Eye: Stay in the public eye. The more public you are the less likely the assault will continue or be that bad? Do not run away from a public area into the bushes etc. Let people see you, if you can.
- Remain Calm: Raise your awareness, know what’s happening. And remain as calm as you can. Although you’ll probably be terrified ‘do not show it’. This would give an attacker a psychological edge and you don’t want that. Maintain your physical and mental equilibrium.
- Plan Your Escape: Always be looking for your exit. But be tactful don’t show your intentions. Think ahead of the bully. Make him/her think the opposite of what you’re about to do. Your main goal is to escape safely.
- Get Ready to Defend Yourself (if unavoidable?): If your escape plan is blocked and there’s no other way but to fight back then hit the softest targets on the their body with the hardest ones on yours. Then get out of there as fast as your legs will carry you. Report it to the teacher, and your parents.
Here’s My Top Tips Against The Bully:
- Avoid people who make you feel weak or small.
- No matter what happens always do something about it. When it comes to Bullying… Action is better than non-action, plus it will have an energising effect on you. Making you feel stronger and not a victim.
- Keep a diary of all incidents and make regular entries.
- Ask yourself better questions such as “how can I change this?” or “How can I change the way I feel?” ask a better question and you get a better answer.
- Join the CHAMPS Confidence Club. This will really help you develop the right skills.
- Tell your parents and get support. Don’t keep it to yourself no matter what. A problem shared is a problem about to leave. There is strength in numbers.
- When being bullied learn to breathe from your lower stomach slowly and deeply, helping you feel calmer. See the bully as a weak person who tries to gain power over people because he or she has none for themselves.
- Create coded messages that you can communicate to teachers and parents to alert them of potentially bullying situations or to identify bullies.
- Be positive. Tell yourself that you are stronger than anything that could ever happen to you and this will pass (as all things do). Don’t allow the bully to enter your mind and if they’re already there, kick them out. Feed your mind with powerful thoughts.
- Forward any text threats on to teachers or parents so that they can be logged. Be smart when it comes to anti-bullying. The best defence is to be more intelligent than them, even though this may take time at first.
- Remember that fear is an illusion. A combination of your words and imagination. You kill fear the moment you face it.
- Hold your body posture in confident ways. Do not show weakness or panic. Imagine you’re wearing the cape of superman/superwoman. Shoulders back, chest forward, chin held high. Closely observe your TV or film heroes and make a note of their body language, postures and gestures. There are lessons all around you, if you look.
No one has the right to bully you or anyone else, DON’T let them in or let them win… do something about it. Be positive and proactive and remember how special you really are.
By Ian Fox All rights reserved.
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